Could Oprah Winfrey Run For President Will Grace Reboot Debuts But Did It Deliver The Goods Sex And The City 3 Is Officially Not Happening HBOs website includes program descriptions, schedules, and contests. The Problem With Neediness Or The Anti Sex EquationTheres a recurring thread Ive seen lately online, whether its in the comments here or in a few of the other forae where I lurk an increasing sense of desperation for a relationship. As were running headlong into the holiday season, its only natural for the singletons amongst us to look around at all of the happy couples with a certain level of bitterness and envy. When youre single and alone in a season that celebrates relationships and togetherness. Nothing says true love like shitty instant coffeeBut because the strongest force in the universe is irony rather than gravity, it can seem that the harder you strive for finding that special someone, the more it slips away from you. This in turn makes you even more determined to find it and so the cycle perpetuates itself. As this goes on, you become increasingly bitter and upset, complaining about the impossible standards of others while simultaneously trying to meet or exceed those standards because you know that your life will be incomplete until you find that special someone. The problem is that youve fallen into a classic trap youve started becoming desperate and needy. And neediness is the antithesis of attraction. It is the magic formula to make relationships disappear and drive off potential life partners. It is the magical formula to make sex disappear. Where Does Needy Behavior Come FromNeediness is the state of excessive desire for affirmation, affection or reassurance from others. Its melange of issues, involving an external locus of control mixed with low self esteem and self limiting beliefs that come together as a constant need for approval from others. They have put their self worth in the hands of others, defining themselves by their relationship to other people. Download Animals United Movie Tumblr PngNeedy people often will say that theyre looking for a relationship in order to complete them or to find someone who brings fulfilment into their lives essentially looking for someone to magically bring meaning into their lives and make them whole. They seek validation from others in this case, a potential romantic partner as a way of filling the void within them. Generally, needy behavior in relationships is an issue of perceived worth and the need for external validation. Free Download Of The Triplets Of Belleville there. There are usually two ways that guys start becoming overly needy. Download Animals United Movie Tumblr PostsThe first is that they suffer from low self esteem and have externalized their locus of control. Theyre so consumed with the idea that they are worth so little that they need constant affirmation and praise from others around them. They are focused on their own perceived inadequacies like a laser and can never believe that they have any good points. They are forever looking to others for approval, asking over and over again for someone to convince them that they arent totally worthless. Cant imagine why this dude isnt drowning in sex right now. The other way is by putting too much value others, whether its a romantic partner or the concept of a relationship in general. It can seem counterintuitive how can you value someone too much After all, wouldnt that just mean that they matter more to you than they do to anyone elseAnd yet the need to worship ones partner to put them on a pedestal, to elevate them to goddess status is another way of objectifying someone and remove their humanity. By projecting so much value into ones partner, they have put themselves into a position where they feel as though they need to placate her or kiss up to her in hopes of earning her approval. Regardless of how it came about, neediness is one of the most unattractive qualities a person can display. Not only does it display low emotional intelligence after all, youre showing that you are incapable of balancing your emotional needs but needy behavior is toxic to relationships. Needy people are forever either supplicating to their partners or else becoming so dependent on others that the relationship becomes smothering. Needy Behavior. Needy behavior manifests in a number of ways some are more overt, while others are surprisingly subtle and are often overlooked. The most immediate and obvious manifestation of needy behavior is acting clingy the overly needy party doesnt want to spend a minute apart longer than is absolutely necessary. Theyll strive to spend every waking moment with their partner if at all possible. If they cant, they may try to remain in constant contact calling and texting repeatedly, sending email after email and freaking the fuck out if the object of their obsession takes a microsecond longer to respond than normal. Theres a fine line between chatting and waiting with sandwiches by the computer, obsessively hitting check mail over and over againPerpetuators of this sort of behavior often dont recognize that theyre being needy. More often than not, they feel that theyre showing how passionate or devoted they are, not realizing that theyre really being dependent and possessive. Similarly, needy people may push for a relationship, getting too serious too quickly they may want to be exclusive immediately, before theyve even made it through the second date. They tend to be so wrapped up in the idea that their date may find someone better that they try to lock him or her down as quickly as possible. The other most common example of needy behavior is constantly requiring reassurance and validation. When needy people get involved in a romantic relationship, they often have a perpetual feeling as though things are on the cusp of falling apart. They are always on the look out for the signs that things are going wrong and that the relationship is about to come crashing down all around them they cant conceive that their partner values them or their relationship and need resassurance over and over again that yes, everythings fine, were good, nobodys mad at anyone else. The constant need to take the relationships temperature, the mini accusations that somethings actually wrong all take their toll and quickly turn from annoyance to active resentment. Clinginess and supplication isnt the only way that neediness expresses itself, however. Because a part of needy people crave the approval of others for their own self worth, they will often go out of their way to try to showboat and impress others into liking them. Needy people will often play status games, in the hopes of persuading others that yes, Corporal Clingy is actually cool and totally not posing at all. They try to fill the emptiness they feel inside with the esteem of others and yet it will never be enough. They will forever feel insecure because they have externalized their locus of control they have put their self worth in the hands of others and thus now need to forever be concerned with how others see them. Want Vs. Need. Recognizing needy behavior in yourself can be difficult it takes self awareness and a willingness to be brutally honest with yourself and to try to look at your behavior as a disinterested third party. Part of the problem is that its easy to confuse or rationalize being needy for simple desire. When youre in the throes of feeling desperate for a relationship with someone, anyone, you may feel down to the depths of your sooooooul that you need someone, that you dont want to live on this world alone anymoreExcept thats not really need. Thats a want. Cold hard truth time a relationship isnt something you need. Not to say that they arent important but you will survive without one. You may be lonely. You may crave affection, love, sex, even just simple companionship. But you wont die of it. The word need implies that you are somehow incomplete, less than others because you are single and that youre trying to find someone to fit into that gap, and improve your life for you. HBO Entourage Homepage. All Your Favorite Entourage Moments are on HBO NOWRemember Ari laying waste to his old office with a paintball gun Or Vinces starring turn in Medelln Now you can watch every one of your favorite scenes using the standalone streaming service HBO NOW.